55: A Tribe of Toffs, “John Kettley (Is A Weatherman)” (no.21, 1988)

Here’s one we’d almost forgotten about: 1988’s definitive roster of C/D-list talent. (Frankly, if you weren’t on here, well, you probably were somebody.) In the years since, some of the individuals mentioned (Jonathan Ross, and indeed Kettley himself, who rather sweetly went on to title his autobiography simply “Weatherman”) have fared better than others (Simon Parkin, David Icke), and some (Ayrton Senna, Lester Piggott) haven’t fared very well at all; still, it’s always cheering to hear the immortal couplet “Richard Keys/Has got no knees”. A little bit poor-man’s-Half-Man-Half-Biscuit, if I’m being completely honest: all “John Kettley”’s celebrity namedropping probably only adds up to the one (altogether more pointed) reference to “goading Paul Ross” in HMHB’s superlative “Tyrolean Knockabout”. Despite the great future predicted by Jonny Briggs’s sister in the above clip, the band’s follow-up single, 1989’s “Terry Wogan’s On TV (Again)”, deviated from the established formula not greatly, and failed to chart.